I've been working on another Christmas story, but as it looks right now, it may not be finished until after Christmas. So I'll make up for it by uploading at least one of my older fanfics. This is one of the earlist I wrote. It's a different rendition of the episode 'Ashes to Ashes', set in an alternate reality where George never died.
Disclaimer: Dead Like Me is owned by MGM and Showtime and was created by Bryan Fuller. I do not own the rights and this story has been written for entertainment and the only benefit I seek is the enjoyment of those who read this.
GOTHBUSTER
Lass residence
October 3rd, 2004
George stepped through the front door of her old house. Even though she'd had her own apartment for more than one year she would pay her family a visit after work every now and then.
"Hey, anybody home?", she called out.
"Hi George, how was your day?", Joy asked, stepping out from the kitchen.
"Bloody murder", George shrugged. "Although, I start to suspect that Delores doesn't hate me as much as she used to."
"I'm sure she only thinks of your own good", Joy stated. "Sometimes people give you a hard time because they care for you a lot. That's what is called tough love."
Great, I´m officially Delores Herbig's bitch, George thought to herself. "Where's the munchkin, by the way? Don't tell me you've sent her off to band practice?"
"God, no!", moaned Joy, as she was reminded of the time she forced her youngest daughter to join the school's marching band. "She's in her room, with a friend."
"A friend?", George repeated, positively surprised. "Our Reggie? Overalls, braids, glasses, that Reggie?"
"Actually, I think her friend is giving her a makeover as we're speaking."
Joy's reply combined with the strange face she was made George intrigued.
"Friend? Makeover?" Man, I've gotta see this. "I could go upstairs and check up on them, if you want me to", George proposed.
"Great, then maybe you could bring this with you?", said Joy, picking up a trey of refreshments which she then passed over to George.
Do I look like a fracking maid? George reluctantly received the trey. "Sure Mom, no problem."
George walked up the stairs to the second floor and then over to Reggie's room. She was surprised to hear some heavy metal rock music playing from inside, which forced her to knock on the door extra hard.
"Who is it?", George could hear her sister ask, annoyed.
"Room service!", George replied.
She heard a deep groan and in her mind, George pictured Reggie rolling her eyes. The door opened and George got to see her little sister without the glasses, wearing some heavy make-up and a different hairstyle. In the room, on a chair, sat a girl Reggie's age with even more make-up and entirely dressed in black.
Is it Halloween already?, George wondered to herself while she walked in, trying not to look too shocked. "Mom sent me up here with some refreshments."
"Good, I'm starved!", Reggie's friend exclaimed and came to grab some of the arrangements on the trey.
You're welcome.
George looked at the girl, barely recognizing a familiar face behind the black hair and the ghoulishly pale face.
"So, what's this,", George said, looking at the girl, before quickly adding "...you're playing, I mean? The music."
"It's Bandar's latest single, 'Touched by a Reaper'", the other girl answered. "He wrote it after that Kyle Lowerdeck concert, the one where he got killed."
"That's cool", said Reggie.
Reggie's friend noticed that George was looking at her, trying to figure out if she knew her.
"Don't you recognize me, George? It's me, Sandy Simmons."
"Oh yeah", George nodded. "How's your uncle Gene?"
"George!!", Reggie growled quietly behind gritted teeth.
"Jesus H. Christ, I was just kidding!"
"Actually, that was almost funny", Sandy laughed dryly. "Only it's Raven now", she added in a vain tone. "Reggie has a new name too, by the way."
"What, Wednesday Addams?"
"No, it´s Spider!", whined Reggie, aka Spider, staring coldly at George.
"Aaaallright then", George said mock-apologetically, waving her hands melodramatically. "Spider it is. Got it. Excuse me! I better get out, before Reggie kicks my ass.
George stepped out in the hallway, where she could still hear the girls talking to each other. She couldn't help but overhearing them.
"I'm so sorry Raven, George can be such a pain sometimes."
"Don't worry about it", Raven shrugged. "Besides, she's nothing like my sister, president of the My-[beep]-Doesn't-Stink Society! Too bad she's not as cool as she used to be
I beg your pardon?
"Seriously, did you see those horrible clothes? I bet she does nothing but sit around on her ass at some dull office all day long."
Oh yeah? At least I don't look like Mystery Inc is about to take off my mask. Goth snob!
Later, the same evening
Reggie had persuaded Joy into letting her invite some of Raven's other friends to a party at their house. George volunteerily took the job to keep an eye on them. Partly to let Joy have her own fun for once, but mostly because she was troubled by Reggie's new company. George came down to the bottom floor when she heard the guests chanting from the living room.
"Light as a feather, stiff as a board... Light as a feather, stiff as a board..."
"Something tells me it aint aerobics their doing in there", George said to Joy.
"Thanks for looking after the girls for me, George", said Joy, who had just dressed up for a night on the town.
"Don't mention it. It's great to see you going out again, I can't remember last time you did it. You look gorgeous. You flying solo, or...?"
"No, I'm going on a date with Angelo."
"Nooo waaay! The guy with the apartment? Go Mom!" George playfully nudged Joy on the upper arm with her fist. "I hope you'll have a good time. Just don't forget to use a condom."
"George!" Joy blushed and her eyes popped out.
"What? I'm just saying, you really need to use protection these days."
"What do you think you're doing?", Reggie yelled, barging into the kitchen. Now she was even more made over than previously, just as much as the other goths in the living room.
Holy [beep], someone get the garlic and the crosses ready! George had to bite her lip to stop that thought from passing through her mouth. "Er... I'm here to babysit... I mean, to keep an eye on you guys at the party."
"But you can't wear that!", Reggie complained.
"FYI, this is how I dress over at that dull... uhm, I mean Happy Time", George stated, dangerously close to revealing she had been eavesdropping earlier.
"If you want to stay here, you've gotta wear something else", Reggie demanded. "Something black."
Black, you say? Hmmm...
30 minutes and one change of clothes later...
"Did you really have to put that on?", Reggie whispered shamefully to George.
"You're the one who said black", George pointed out. "Besides, I thought your buddies were gonna like it."
George sat with the others in a circle on the living room floor, surrounded by burning candles. She wore an old Halloween costume. Holding a plastic scythe in her hand and wearing a black cloak, she was dressed up as the Grim Reaper. For some strange reason, this outfit felt very natural to her.
"It's okay, I guess", Raven said hesitatingly. "It kinda matches the theme for this party."
"Cool", said George, blowing a pink bubble of bubble gum out of her mouth.
"You can't blow cherry bubble gum at a goth party!", Reggie whined.
"Oh, it's not cherry, it's pig's blood", George claimed.
A faint giggle spread amongst the crowd, to Raven's annoyance and Reggie's embarrasment. It quickly died out as Raven glared at those who where laughing.
"Riiight, so let's start, then...", Raven announced and turned to one of the pre-teen goths. "Tabitha?"
"Aspirin overdose", Tabotha answered.
"Boring!", Raven scoffed.
"Okay...", said Tabitha, thinking it over. "Boiling oil... No, boiling acid!"
"That's better", Raven grinned.
Then the other girls continued.
"Elictrification."
"Decapitation."
"Flaying", Raven said.
"Carpal tunnel", another one said.
"What's that?", Raven asked.
"I've heard it's very serious."
When I was eleven we used to discuss which were the coolest, Ninja Turtles or Power Rangers, George thought. Now it's causes of death. Un-fracking-believable.
"George?", Raven asked.
"Hmmmm, I think... The professor, in the library, with a pistol."
"Isn't that Clue?", one of the others said.
"No, I really think a professor is gonna shoot me in a library with a pistol", George answered, thus another fit of giggles occured, only to fade out as quickly as the previous one.
"Now it's your turn, Spider", Raven said, turning over to Reggie.
Reggie gave it a lot of thinking, until she finally said:
"Run over by a drunk college student driving a pick up truck at campus."
The others took a liking to Reggie's contribution in the morbid game. George, on the other hand, was appalled by what she was hearing. That was the last straw. She got up and turned up the lights in the living room ceiling.
"Sorry girls, but this party's over. Time to go home! Chop chop!"
"But George, my mom won't be able to pick me up until at least an hour!", Raven whined.
"Then why don't you just fly home on your broomsticks!" George groaned. "Nevermind, I'll just call you a cab. By the way, you girls don't want to know what all that pancake will do to your skin. Ever seen 'Cabin Fever'? It's not quite that bad, but still. It's not a pretty sight."
Disappointed, the little goth girls left the house. Reggie was furious at George.
"Just wait until Mom hears that you ruined my party!"
"I'm really damn glad she didn't hear what you just said!”, George snapped. ”Dad's death is not a game!"
"I wish you were dead!", Reggie grumbled, walking out of the room.
Well, this turned out really fracking great...
EPILOGUE
At the break of dawn, at the slums, a bagful of ashes was scattered at the side of a river. The dust that was spread by the wind had once been a homeless person known by his companions as Montana. Besides his old friends, two of the people present were grim reapers. Which might seem like a strange thing, at least to those who are unaware of the existence of reapers. But one fact that was undoubtfully odd, was that the ashes of Montana were spread by the very reaper who had reaped his soul before his body was pierced by a squirrel kebab.
”Well then, Arthur Simms, this is it”, said Clancy Lass while the bag of ashes ran empty. Then he cleared his throat and raised his voice slightly. ”To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub! For in that sleep of death what dreams may come.”
”Shakespeare?”, said Roxy, as the two of them were leaving. ”Pretty classy.”
”Thanks”, said Clancy.
”Although, you know that monologue is about suicide, right?”
”I didn't really think it would matter anyway.”
"Nevermind. How 'bout breakfast?"
"Why not, I could go for a Banana Bonanza right now."
THE END
